The pain of loss is a constellation of thoughts and deep feelings we experience when we lose someone we love and the grieving is the expression of this pain. Overall, we as a society, as a family or as individuals, tend to “protect” the children from the grieving process, not encouraging them to express their pain. But we have good reasons to believe that children can integrate the subject of death to their lives and live well.
In 2014 I lost my grandfather. The great-grandfather was always present in the children’s lives of children. It was hard to explain to them that the Great-grandfather had died and that we wouldn’t see him anymore. Many questions came after the news. Did Grandpa disappear? Won’t we see him again? Where did he go? Can I talk to him?
Many explanations and some booklets helped me in this process.
See below a suggestion of three children’s beautiful and delicate books that talk about death and loss.
The Tree Of Memories, Britta Teckentrup
“The fox had a long and happy life in the forest. But when she felt very, very tired, she understood that it was time to leave. Feeling very sad, the forest animals gathered around their friend to remember the happy moments they had with her. But a pleasant surprise will touch the heart of each one of them and turn the pain of longing into a cheerful rustle of leaves in the wind. A delicate and touching book that celebrates life and help us to rescue the sweet memories of those we love.
Life Without Leo, Andrea Maturana
“Leo and Bia are good friends, but from one moment to another they have to separate, because Leo’s family is moving to a distant place. After his departure, the days become sad and lonely. And the melancholy opens a huge void in Bia’s life. Why is longing so painful? “
Where Do We Go When disappear ?, Isabel Minhos Martins, Madalena Matoso
“Have you ever stopped to think where unpaired socks go to? Or beach sand carried by the wind goes to? And the noise, when everything is silent? These are some of the mysteries that life brings to us, and the truth is that some questions even adults can’t answer for sure. The hardest may be this: where do things, and people go to, when they are no longer here? People have different answers, but since no one knows for sure what is the right one, we can give wings to our imagination and make up a thousand and one different possibilities. “